Not Quite Bi-weekly Saturday Ride Route Rant

Yet another missive* (I love that word) aimed directly at those brave enough to attempt to route a Saturday Ride that we do every Saturday at 9am (Central time Zone) from the Bikery (in Stillwater, MN).

And before you shout at me for my hypocritical route rant please note that I have routed rides and been ranted at for my ride routing so I'm only returning the favor**)

But it seems I've already digressed (which is appropriate on a Digression Friday!) from the jest of this post... my route rant.

I should also note (digression 2) this is not aboot (my attempt at some Canadian comedy) the 8am (Central Time Zone) Pumpkin ride lead by the world's foremost Bike, I hesitate to just say, 'mechanic' Calvin (Calvin's Corner) Jones'. I will say though, my disappoint is high that Mr. Jones has not yet sent out his Pumpkin Ride Query for Attendance missive. Calvin??? Hello???

But back to my trouble about tomorrow (June 19, 2010) route... It's missing several segments. Like a segment on how to get to Scandia... and a segment following the massive suffering proposed by the router of the proposal for the route for Saturday back to Stillwater and a place we like to call the Bikery.

So perhaps this is not really a route rant but a route proposal (maybe I should post this over on OtisTheManager because I'm really proposing a solution instead of just pointing out a problem and that is what Otis would do!). So instead of whining and wincing and complaining (you know, like the guys in the autobus do all the time when the peloton won't stop when they flat, don't even get me started, or 'drop'*** a water bottle) I will instead offer a solution to the routing dilemma that the proposer of the 'informal' ITT**** (and I'll get to the is whole notion of what informal REALLY means in moment) has put us into.

Route Proposal (sorry, don't know an 'R' word to replace proposal with) - 9am - leave for Scandia. Meet up with TT people. Ride TT route in an informal and fun way. Puke. Ride home. Those not interested in TT and puking - continue on around Bone Lake.

Now, back to the informal nature of the TT that is conveniently scheduled to begin 1 hour after the start of the regularly scheduled Saturday Sufferathon. I think this was more than coincidence. It may even have been a plan. Something akin to a spider building a web and then drawing in their prey.

Look at the evidence... the guy routing this route is the same guy who can ride something like 6 ITTs in a single week and when he goes easy he still goes something like 40 mph. And whilst he's riding along at 40mph in a 'fast hat' he turns and looks over his should and chuckles at the rest of us on our expensive but slow bikes (ok, maybe he's just laughing at me) but you know what I mean.

Coincidence? I think not.

Something we should incorporate into our Saturday adventure? I think so.

Who's with me?

* Missive - Maybe, maybe not.
** All content is meant to be in fun and jest, despite it's ranting nature.
*** 'Drop' a water bottle? Did anyone really see it bounce out? Or perhaps was it thrown aside in a clandestine manner in an effort to slow the pace of the group that this author was even further behind? I wonder...
**** ITT - Individual Time Trial - Ride 20k all by yourself as fast as you can. Then when you finish - puke your guts out.