Le Weight!

In my last narrative we talked about The Call. A story of a “young man’s” (mine) dream of getting The Call to rush to France to fill out a Le Tour team that is in (very) desperate need of just 1 more rider to guide them through 21 stages of the greatest athletic event yet invented.

You should probably read that previous narrative first.

Thanks for coming back!

Why is it that J. Sully (me) has not gotten The Call? As we think back to the last story, which I’ve already mentioned you should have already read, you know I’m off to France, Belgium, even Luxembourg to take matters into my own hands. If THE CALL will not come to me, I am going to go find THE CALL. On this mission my goal is to ensure that THE CALL comes in 2015!

Today my friends, we have uncovered the first piece of Le Puzzle: Why has THE CALL not already arrived?

Le Weight!  

“What???”, you now find yourself thinking, “what has weight got to do with this?”

Well, let me tell you I am not only off to Le Tour (the cool kids say it that way, maybe) to hunt down THE CALL but I am following the media following Le Tour and I am studying just what it takes to receive THE CALL!

Flash back, if you will, to the 2013 Tour De France, the champion was a young man named Chris Froome, 6 Feet and 1 inch/1.86942984 meters tall and 157 pounds/71 kg in weight. Fast forward to now and in some people’s eyes Chris is not the favorite to repeat this championship effort in 2014 after his “collapse” in the Critérium du Dauphiné in early June. Mr. Froome fell from the Yellow Jersey to 12th overall in the 2014 edition of the Critérium du Dauphiné but still managed to come home as the winner of the Green Jersey.

(Sully, have you got a point to this story? Yes, I do. Hang on.)

In my eyes he, Mr. Chris Froome, remains the favorite for this year’s Tour De France (Americans say it like this), despite this collapse.

Why?

Here is why:

From this story at bicyling.com Mr. Froome is asked:

What is your plan between now and the start of the Tour de France?

And Chris answers:

We’re going to train in the Alps or we may do a little bit of recon in the Pyrenees. I’ve still got a bit of weight to lose before the Tour, maybe a kilo.

Read it again…

A Kilo.** A single, solitary, individual KILO!

Think back to The Call.

Can you see it? I can.

A kilo: 2.20462 US Pounds, 0.157473 Stone, 35.274 Ounces!

THE CALL is but 1 kilo from my grasp! I feel it. A trip to France. Cobbles, mountains, (some) wine and:

In 2015... In the midst of June... The phone will ring:

J. Sully: "Bonjour!, Bonjour!!!”

Heavily accented unknown caller, bored: "Is this J. Sully, of Stillwater MN, USA?"

J. Sully, now breathless and heart racing: "Yes! Yes it is!!! I AM J. SULLY!"  

Heavily accented unknown caller: “Thank you for taking my call Jay. Would you like to take 15 minutes to cut your insurance bill? "

Jump back to Part 1: Le Call
Jump ahead to Part 3: Mau Aussi 

**While it is true Mr. Froome mentioned the Alps, here in Minnesota we have not just Pawnee but also Chilkoot. I’m good on the climbing part. Right??

Le Call

It is la** time of the year when all over the internet you see nothing but stories of the world’s great cycling teams announcing their lineups for Le Tour. There is much talk of who can beat last years champion Mr. Froome. Everyone wonders if A. Contador will eat tainted Spanish beef. 

But, more importantly, it is the time of the year when J. Sully (me) waits for le CALL!

For those of you who follow the trials and tribulations of J. Sully (e.g. drop me), you know that for years, our hero, J. Sully (me) has been waiting for “The Call”. If you follow cycling and the race of the year, le Tour (the cool kids say it that way, maybe) you are familiar with “The Look” given from the “greatest” (in a physically/doped sense, not morally) rider in le Tour history to another infamous former “Champion” of what I consider one of the greatest athletic challenges of all time. (relive The Look, it really is amazing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdMdJAdzpYQ at about 21 seconds), 

Yes, I’m still talking about the le Tour - where men wear tights and ride up the sides of mountains at a pace unimaginable to most. 

Le Call, in my mind, would be of the magnitude of Le Look!

The Call goes “something” like this:

J. Sully: “Hello?”

Unknown voice with accent, slightly harried: “Bonjour! Is this J. Sully?”

J. Sully: “Yes, Bonjour. Who is this?”

Unknown voice with accent, with slight relief in voice: “So wonderful to track you down. We need you! Le Tour begins in just a few days. Our lead out train is now short 1 man. Can you come?”

J. Sully: “Well, I do have work. And a bike club who depends on me on Saturdays.”

Unknown voice with accent: “But we need you. A 30 day contract. All the EPO you can use. Can you come?”

J. Sully, slightly hesitant: “Well, my French is not very good… and, as I said, my club, what about my club? I mean, the Coffee Ride...”

Unknown voice with accent cutting me off: “My friend! Jerseys! Bibs! Skin suits!! And an aero helmet too! We need you!”

In my (small) mind, for years now, I've dreamt of this call coming. As my years on this planet increase along with my cholesterol, my time to be called is shortening. Soon I will be as old as the riders in le Chilkoot Cycling Club who drop me every Saturday, and at that age, who's gonna call? I mean, besides the American Association of Retired Folks or whatever they're called.

So now is the time! Action is required! I am taking matters into my own hands! I am bringing the bike and bibs to them! If the mountains will not come to me, I will head to the mountains.

My friends I am off to Europe to show the world that NOW is the time for The Call. I will follow le Tour! I will ride the cobbles! I shall ride the mountains on Bastille Day! I shall be dropped by those from other lands! And I will send updates! (Um, sorry.)

In 2015... In the midst of June... The phone will ring:

J. Sully: "Hello, Bonjour!"

Heavily accented unknown caller, slightly bored: "Is this J. Sully? The J. Sully?"

J. Sully, now breathless: "Yes! Yes it is!!!"  

Heavily accented unknown caller: “Ah! We've found you. Would you care to cut your interest rate in HALF on your Visa?"

(jump to part 2 of this adventure)

(ps - I’ll put all the pics & video of my mission up elsewhere and try not to fill up chat. It’s bad enough having to watch me climb trying to catch you as you (thankfully) wait for me. I won’t force more of the same (looking, not waiting)!

** "Clever" use of French: https://translate.google.com/#fr/en/la