IronKoot: The "Ride" Report

IronKoot One

It begins with an idea. The idea is shared. The idea is thought highly of or in some cases not. Occasionally the idea is forgotten. Those who have done the forgetting are happy they forgot once they are reminded of the thing they had forgotten about, but now, alas, they are sad for having been reminded of the thing they had happily forgotten. (What’s this about again?)

Or maybe they just missed the email? It is simply both confusion and confusing.

IronKoot One followed this same pattern. A slightly balding gentleman somehow with the nickname “Sully” had an idea that he likely stole (the idea for the ride, not the nickname) from someone else. He none-the-less presents this idea as his and discusses this idea with board members who run the ever efficient Chilkoot Cycling Bicycling Club, CCBC, and then this Sully “cyclist” fires the email with the idea of this IronKoot to the club. The idea now heads out over chat. And the members of CCBC roll their eyes, slam closed the lids of their laptops, drop their fancy, yet oversized Android Mobile Device in the snow while fat tiring through the woods (never to be seen again, the phone, not the rider) and think: “This guy, again? Why am I on chat…”

Surprisingly, this idea only generates 40 or 50 emails. Pretty low for a thought shared on chat designed to turn into a ride for the CCBC members. A good sign! Or perhaps foreshadowing of something more dark?

These things always end the same. We ride. And so it was with the first ever IronKoot. Some call it IronKoot 1. Some call it IronKoot last. In either case, it was the first ever IronKoot of which you will never ever have the chance to participate. Perhaps you will have the opportunity to partake in IronKoot 2, 3, or more, but never the first. And you should be thankful for that.

But this is a report of the “ride”, not of the ride development, ride planning, and ride execution plan planning. On to the action!

The day of IronKoot One nears. We are into the 10 day forecast window of the various internet sites that repackage and sell as their own the weather forecast. And that repackaged drivel does not look good. As the day of the event moves closer and closer and the weather “forecasters” hysteria for rain grows, the darkness, foreshadowed many months earlier, looks more and more like truth. Nothing but the truth.

We are within 24 hours of the start of IronKoot 1. It will rain. And it will not be warm. And the wind will blow. Hard.

Oh.

But IRON is not a part of the IronKoot name for nothing. For we are the CCBC! IRON represents how we ride! Hard and fast with only a little bit of rust.  We shall meet and we shall ride!

We gather beneath the Flag of Flanders that represents strength and fortitude. Sunday morning. The pros are on the telly and if they can compete for 260K, the IronKoot can go on.

Oh the coffee is marvelous. The French toast (in honor of European cycling!) simply divine. The fruit cup amazing. But we must ride, for we are Chilikootians! Really, just how bad can it be? Certainly there will be a window we can sneak through?  

Oh.

Wait, is that an opening? Which way is that thing moving? Hurry, hit “map in motion”. We can sneak through there? Right?

And Liège Bastogne Liège 2014 continues. 3k to go. A small break with 10 seconds on the closing peloton. Tension grips the room and the Koots gaze out the window.

Oh.

And Liège comes to an end. An amazing finish. Dan Martin has fought across the gap to nearly claim the lead. They make a hard left to the finish line 100 meters away, wait - the video is much better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zL_1de_2Pq4 (It’s only 17 seconds, go watch it.)

Oh.

And that road is dry.

We have a new champion in Liège. The Koots look around the room. “Oh, look at the time. I better get home.” “I probably should go.” Dirty dishes are quietly returned to cafe. Table and chairs put back into their home. The Kootians file out slowly into the rain. To their cars, with only the shame of not having ridden and some great coffee and breakfast in their stomachs.

The drive of shame back to home.

Oh.

We Kootians are a hearty lot! There will be another chance to redeem the shame of not riding in the 39F degree temps, through the 30mph (48Kph), and driving but still pouring rain. And we will all take solace in the fact that 1 among us rode at least a section of IronKoot One because he had hope and is bad at weather maps in motion. He thought that “Yes! Indeed there would be a break in the weather!”

Oh.

We are shamed. But, he was wrong, there was no break. There was but the hint of a break in the weather which lead to a US gallon of water stored in his tights. But he did ride and we did not.

And for that (not having ridden) we are DAMN HAPPY!

OH!!!

And Nick is your IronKoot One Most Valuable Rider(MVR)/Worst Weather Forecaster(WWF) 2014!

The Fall Ride Process

(Please note - this missive was written before the advent of the "Fat Bike". Oh how life has changed!)

In the midwest of the United States, Minnesota to be more precise, the cycling season is winding down. The leaves are falling from the trees, the days are getting chilly, if not downright cold. It is the time of year that the local bike clubs face the challenge of riding the regularly scheduled weekly ride with less than ideal conditions. What follows is an accounting of one group’s effort to determine when their normally scheduled 9am Saturday ride will happen and a report of the ride.

The process begins with someone looking at the weather forecast for Saturday. We all try not to look. But you just can not turn away. And then this then appears in everyone’s inbox:

“Hi All,

Who'd like to saddle up this weekend?

It might make sense to ride later on Saturday for more favorable temps.

Thoughts?”

He said it: “Thoughts”. And the floodgates open. To avoid making this short story not so short I’ll skip the details, but, after 4 more emails, including 1 from our fearless president, the 9am Saturday ride was still on for Saturday at 9am.

I know, I know, I too am thinking: Facts can often be unsettling, especially when they meet expectations.

But what exactly is an expectation? I will explain before we deliver the ride report. Follow along: "Each and every Saturday there will be a bicycle ride at 9am. Many will suffer. Some will be dropped." This is the expectation. It has been set by the club. It is on a web site.

The Proof:

If it is Saturday.

AND

It is 9am

There will be a bike ride.

At this point you may have the following thought:

It is Thursday.

AND

It is not 9am.

Will there be a bike ride at Saturday beginning at 9am?

Yes. There will be a ride at Saturday at 9am.

Probably.

(Now it gets complicated. Please, follow along. I’m struggling to follow this and I am doing the “writing”. But I have hope for us both.)

There it is: Probably.

Because it is Fall. And among us “hearty” Minnesotans there lies the pouty, not happy to be cold riders who will start a chain of emails with something like:

"Weather Sucks, I'm pouty, Can we ride later". (I will grant you that it’s  true it is usually me being the pouty one, especially when it comes to it being cold. I hate thinking while I am sitting behind the handlebars towing the group along, you know: pulling, into a headwind only to be dropped later and freezing body parts I’d forgotten I have that once again "I am cold and I miss July." Really, I hate having that stuck in my head as I pedal. Really. .

That is the pouter. And it is them that starts this chain of emails.

And as I couldn't actually be there for this ride I'll break down what went down on the ride as I was able to get a great sense of the riders who were going to show up and ride the ride at 9am on Saturday that I am able to put together how it did go down.  

What's odd is this time, the decision to ride the ride at the normal 9am Saturday time of the ride only took 5 emails to arrive at the decision that the ride would be ridden at the time is was scheduled to be ridden at. Amazing.

(Maybe it's good I didn't jump into the email conversation and add more pout to the emails working on a decision to ride at the ride time? Rhetorical question, just answer in your head and move on.)

Recap: Ride planned. Starting at 9am, Saturday. Really.

RIDE REPORT

The ride began on a chilly Saturday morning in late October. A small group of hearty Chillikootians (a moniker for our bike club’s members) gathered inside the shop/cafe, the smell of fresh coffee, sweet baked goods, and outstanding omelets in the air. It was warm. Very warm.

Outside, the wind blew. Hard. And the team knew that starting this ride later, like in June of 2014, would have been a better idea. But no one says that. Because, as The President said in email number 4 of the five sent  in the above mentioned emailing decision making chain about riding on Saturday at 9am: "We will be staying warm because of our excellent clothing!"

The riders slowly wander outside and someone brings up the elephant in the room: "Anyone have a route?"

They look around. Silence. Question Answered: "No. No one does."

And they run back into the warmth of the shop to gaze upon the route map that hangs on the wall.

"We should go out into the wind."

"Wind, come on you babies! Let's ride into it both ways!"

"Yeah, into the wind. I like that idea. I've never heard that idea before. That's a keen idea."

"Oh right on! We'll let it BLOW US HOME!".

"Anyone want more coffee?"

"I have to go to the bathroom before we head out."

Another rider rolls in... "Hey team! Thanks for waiting for me! What time are we riding today?"

5 minutes pass. Several riders come to blows over the route out of town.

10 minutes...

15 minutes...

"Yeah, heck. Let's go. Is he out of the toilet yet?"

And they slowly wander back out to the bikes. Water bottles are checked for ice.

One rider tips over as her quickly freezing toes can't detect their high performance, carbon soled, super high energy returning bike shoe locking into the titanium pedal.

But hey, we've all done that, right?

Everyone says: "We're laughing with you!" (and in our heads we are just damn glad that wasn't us and it really wasn't me because I wasn't there, but, does this story ever go down differently?).

And away they go.

Into the wind. The group of 5 feet 6 inch riders look around for the big guys. Those over 6 feet, even approaching 6 feet and 4 inches and with a mass over 200 pounds that they could hide behind because riding into this wind is miserable. Awful. Cold.

They think "How will I drop the people who pulled early if I'm pulling early into this hurricane force wind?"

(Your author, is SO ENJOYING this scene! Your author is one of those big guys who mysteriously often finds himself put upon the front by those little riders who giggle about being sucked along in the big guy’s wake. See how us big guys feel now you short, light, fast, well conditioned riders! HA!)

They go up a hill here. Another hill there. They coast down into the face of the wind. Missing those big bodies on the front. Those shorties actually have to work for the first half of the ride. This is all new. They mumble to one another "This is hard. I've never ridden a whole ride before.".

And as they turn for home, with no one but themselves to drop, it becomes a game of attrition. One by one they begin to fall behind. Dropping off the back like ladybugs falling off the screen as the first frost of fall settles in. Never pretty for anyone, either sight. But the result of riding the full ride, riding into the wind like they've never done before: pain and suffering.

As they ride with the wind… someone makes a move for stop ahead sprint. (Always easy with a tail wind. Why now?) And no one goes along. An arm wave to signify a "victory".

No one celebrates beyond the “victor”. A few smile knowingly, they would've gone, if only the big guys had shown up to pull them for the first half of the ride, but they didn't show up so now the shorties do not sprint. They are tired.

How do those big guys do it?

And the team rolls back into the shop. More reflective than normal, and not just because of the fancy cycling clothes with reflective strips that help cars to see them, but instead a more introspective reflectiveness. They are thinking about missing the big guys, the work they do, the burden they must carry, on a windy, a chilly, a fall day, a day that the 9am ride was ridden at, almost, 9am.

Oh to be a big guy. They are our heroes.

"When I grow up I want to be a big guy and pull the group. That's where the heart is."

If you enjoyed this story, you can see others on this 'blog' and over here on our Club Website.

If you live in the Stillwater Area, you can find out more info about our club here.