Before you read this and cause yourself to suffer,you may (or may not) want to read about how difficult writing these stories is!
If you just did that and came back here, I’m so, so sorry... But glad you have you. Enjoy!
It began, as many things do, a humble beginning. Nothing more than a simple social functioning ‘bike wash’ day, or maybe an ‘Eat-n-Tune’, perhaps even ‘SPRING CLEANING & BBQ’. Something for a ‘crisp fall day’. A day full of sunshine, light breezes. A good day to get social and get that bike(s) cleaned up and ready for the long cold winter.
Time elapsed.
Fall became winter.
A damn long winter I might add (sorry, the editor put that in).
And finally a spring that would not begin.
But that didn’t stop the little club that could. Not the club now known as Chillykooting Velo! No way! And not with the mechanical department headed by one Calvin ‘thumb print’ Jones, the man with legendary bladder control known only to those who wrench at 24 hour MTB classics all around this globe we call ‘Earth’.
The idea that refused to leave the mechanics head throughout that winter that was. It is said that one Calvin Jones spent the winter muttering to himself: ‘We MUST clean and tune! We must!’
And so it was. What was imagined as a club social event to Eat, Tune, Tweak, and talk sometrash became Wrench ‘n’ Munch ‘n’ Haggle (Wrench ‘n’ Munch ‘n’ Haggle: WMH for rest of story.) on the first truly warm, sunshine filled day of the 2011 riding season. A truly amazing day. (Adjectives are something I’m working on, but it was WAY NICE!)
This niceness of weather, the club agreed, was all due to the Karma exuded by mild mannered, quite, some might say shy (but they’d be lying) bike mechanic who grew up in the hills and valleys of Colorado but choose to settle in the shadows of Chilkoot Mountain Pass in what many call one of America’s Prettiest Towns. There are those who call it ‘Stillwater’. But those of us with bikes call it ‘Terrifying’. The Karma of one who gives his Saturday’s that others might ride and he’ll need to run out later to get that Mother’s Day card. That is the Karma we can all hope to someday exude.
But this is not about a Mountain pass in Stillwater MN. Nor is it about the mechanic with the big idea. This is about the day that forever shall be known simply as the 2011 Wrench ‘n’ Munch ‘n’ Haggle (Haggle: not much haggling went on. Chochlet Thunder still has some tires from ’74 Schwinn he’d like to sell. And the bike mechanic has a pair of wheels that Armstrong, yeah that Armstrong, may or may not have ridden. Of course I’ve got all sort of stuff I’ll sell you that that Armstrong may or may not have ridden.).
It began with the big rig from St. Paul hauling the parts, the tools, the stands, the buckets that would contain the liquid necessary for the Clean ( oddly this ended up being left off of the WMH despite it being a part of the early roots of the Red Wood that now represents the WMH in a metaphorical sense. Wrench ‘n’ Munch ‘n’ Haggle ‘n’ Clean. Hmmm.... we can think about that for next time. ) part of the WMH arriving at the Wax Shed. Those of you who did not think winter sucked more than normal are already familiar with this place called the ‘Wax Shed’ as this non-hatred of winter means you ski on skinny skis which means you go the wax shed and do whatever it is you do to skinny skis besides ski on them. There was Food from a smoker -some pig - BBQ’d to perfection was delivered by the guy with ALS ride that is under 2 weeks from NOW (if you’re reading this on about 5/9/2011) which means go register RIGHT NOW (I said to myself). And more buckets. An air compressor. Some drill bits
. Riders. Riders I might add who rode, Wrenched, Munched, skipped the Haggling, and rode home, and of course many, many remaining Park Tool Pint Glasses. If you need one, or 10, speak up and we’ll get’em to you.
And the crazy bike stuff began. There was advice. There was learning (who knew it was so easy to replace a cable on a bike and then make the bike shift the way it should shift!) There were seat tubes that became unstuck. There where nearly destroyed derailleur hangers on classic steel bikes that where repaired. And there was BBQ. Did we mention the BBQ? There was much mumbling - is the repair better or is the BBQ better? No one could decided. But the comraderre (Comroderre: I can’t even get close enough on spelling this incorrectly to get the correct spelling from spell check. oh well. If you can’t figure it out call me and I’ll say it. )
of a group of people who’d clearly put on shorts for the first time in about 8 months was fantastic. Fun. Energizing. And bikes - now shiny, and shifting like a dream.
Some of the more helpful advice was captured in the imagery of the day:
Thumb Print says: ‘Why yes Steve, this is a bike. And when you turn this handle therear wheel spins. It’s like magic.’ Also note that Thumb Print keeps his name on his clothes so he doesn't leave without what's his!
The president, as he does every spring, wonders to himself 'Why do I hang out with this group?'
Here the president looks on, continuing in his stream of consciousness 'There guys wear SPANDEX? What AM I doing here...'
Here is a bike that had just come out of the Wrench ‘n’ Clean portion of the day. It did not partake in any Munch activities.
A good shot of the Vice President’s butt and pale legs of a few riders. (Note early stream of thoughts from President, also note the author's inablility to use adjectives very well, or in this case, at all. )
Our host, in the chair to the left. Note beer in hand.
He is a good man!
Tim explains to Mike: ‘That’s right, your knees SHOULD be covered when you Wrench on a bike. But your jersey should still be clearly readable’. (It was shortly after his exchange that Mike left, slightly confused.)
That guy with the ALS Bike ride in a few weeks. No one is quite sure what he was digging for. And those same people where afraid to ask. Should we worry he made BBQ?
It seems confusion was a major part of the day. ‘All these clean bikes... which one should I take?’
Now - get back on over to http://www.chilkootvelo.com/
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